Advice for Supporting Somebody Who Has Cancer

 Estimates published by The American Cancer Society state that approximately 1.9 million people received a cancer diagnosis in 2021. It’s possible that somebody you know was one of them. It’s also possible that a person you love may receive a diagnosis at some point. As a friend or loved one, you’ll want to support this person as much as you can. Here are some tips to help you support those with cancer.

First, prepare for mood changes.

The treatments for cancer, including chemotherapy and radiotherapy, can be physically and mentally taxing. Couple that with other medications that may have side effects. It is also likely that your loved one will experience mood changes. Depression, fatigue, anger, and anxiety are all common emotions for somebody who has cancer. By understanding these mood changes may come, you can gird up yourself with the patience to deal with them rather than losing your temper because your loved one isn’t acting like they usually do.

Second, offer practical support wherever you can.

In addition to being mentally and physically draining, many cancer treatments place significant demands on a person’s time. Furthermore, the physical effects may leave somebody unable to complete their daily tasks. By offering to help with practical tasks, you relieve some of your loved one’s burdens. Examples of tasks include cleaning, gardening, babysitting, cooking meals, and picking children up from school.

Consider setting some boundaries to ensure you only do what you’re able to. For example, ask directly if your loved one needs somebody to pick up their children from school rather than asking them if there’s anything you can do. This approach ensures you can still focus on yourself while helping your loved one.

Third, learn to listen.

Cancer is such an overwhelming condition that it’s unlikely your loved one will be able to think about anything else. Often, they’ll need somebody to act as a sounding board for their concerns and frustrations. This is especially the case if they’re trying to make a treatment decision. Providing your loved one with the space to verbalize their thought process means you learn more about what they’re going through. You may also be able to contribute suggestions or questions for the person to ask their doctor.

Advice is not always necessary, particularly if you have limited experience with cancer. Sometimes, just offering a sympathetic ear is all that your loved one needs from you.

Fourth, understand how important your visits are to the person you’re supporting.

Always call before you visit your loved one. This call gives them the choice of whether they want to see you. Be understanding if they don’t. Your friend may want some alone time to think about what they’re going through.

Assuming your loved one wants you to visit them, consider scheduling. Short and frequent visits are often preferred to long and infrequent ones. Shorter visits still provide you with the time needed to offer support without being so long that the visit feels draining for your loved one. Begin and end each visit with physical contact, such as a hug or a handshake. Allow your loved one to determine what you do during the visit. Also, make references to your next visit, so the other person has something to look forward to.

Finally, recognize that supporting somebody who has cancer takes a mental toll on you as well. You’re seeing somebody you love go through a tremendously difficult experience. Make time to support yourself, so you’re better able to help the person you love.